Today, after an early start, we wear at Peoples Square to see the Shanghai Bienalle exhibition at the museum of art - a bargain at 1 kuai for hours of lovely art viewings and films. Peoples Square was horrible though - not the square itself but the constant, unwavering attention from people trying to trick tourists. This sounds odd, but these scams are really common and no one let up on us the whole time - until we fled to the comfort of the metro station.
The most common thing we experienced was people asking us to take a picture of them - then asking you where you're from - chatting, and basically tricking you into something then escorting to a cash point. The most common method, is to make friends with a foreigner, take them to an 'amazing' chinese tea house, and then they find out that charge is about 100 pounds. Luckily, I had read all about these - and we didn't fall for any of it. We had non stop comments about out 'lovely' blonde hair and 'lovely' white skin - men and women from the scamming teams were targeting our vanity and laying it on thick with the complements in a vain attempt to get us to talk.
Once inside peoples square metro station - with no fewer than 20 different entrances and even more platforms - you are confronted with the biggest mall that you have ever seen - most of it underground. It would have taken all day to wander around it, but suffice to say, we found a Parisian style cafe with a 3 kuai set lunch and I had a manicure for 2 kuai - which was hilarious, as I'm not used to such pampering, and for 2 quid, though thought that I couldn't possibly get anything that would last longer than 5 mins, kept saying thanks and getting up to go! You really can get a lot of value for your money over here as a tourist... I am thinking about having some more treatments. Maybe botox? Yes, that sounds sensible.
We went to the insect, bird and fish market after this - the most unusual and amazing sight. Streets and streets of individual, live insects for sale of all different types. Crickets - used for cricket racing and fighting - a very popular pastime here, were being groomed and bathed by their stall owners, menageries of birds, singing and squawking for their lives - and more lucky goldfish than you can imagine.
At points the market was harrowing. The Chinese (generally speaking) put little importance on animal welfare, and many, many cages of emaciated cats and unidentifiable, piled on top of each other house rodents and dogs looked as though they were suffering acutely. As we are about to enter the year of the rabbit - they are treated as kings - and are very scarce as they are symbols of the greatest luck.
It makes me think of my Dotty - how is she?
We decided to eat in tonight and bought a dvd of the new and unreleased Cohen brothers film 'True Grit' for 50p from a street seller along with some chinese cakes from my favourite hole in the wall on Anfu Lu.
Tomorrow we head to the countryside! Will write from the high speed train.
Saturday, 15 January 2011
Shanghai continues to be awesome.
Last night I ate pigs knuckle! That is - one made entirely of tofu and shaped into a giant hoof. The days all begin to merge into one as we hop over the city doing this and that.
Yesterday we went to the arts district. It reminded me a little of what I saw of the arts district in New Yoik - blocks of warehouses - all networked together, offering the usual commercial art expos with a few really good bits hidden among all of the Nathan Barley bits. It was rather immense and took some time, after all of the wandering and staring at conceptual Chinese art, we decided to grab a cab to the Bund and have some touristy fun in the Pearl Tower. Now, the pearl tower is nicknamed the disco balls - look it up on google images and then imagine the balls covered with glittery lights - this is what it is like at night. Except bright neon pink!
As with a lot of places in Shanghai (and China, I imagine) you have to go through tons of security and get frisked before you are allowed into any building. Even before you enter any tube station you have to put your bags through an x-ray machine. Its bit sinister sometimes, but mainly you don't notice. At the pearl tower though, we did notice, as you had to go through about 50 checks! In the basement there is an immense, labyrinthine museum dedicated to the history of shanghai - some cool bits and only 20 kuai (2 quid) which kept us entertained and out of the cold.
Now, the cold is something I will just mention, as you will never have experienced anything like it. It creeps into your bones. Imagine the coldest that the winter in the uk has been, except somehow, more bitter, sharper. It sucks ass. And its absolutely pitiful to see Shanghai in all of its finery, especially after their world Expo 2010, with all of the homeless people and slums that exist under the surface.
Today and yesterday we went to some neglected areas and saw much poverty. So weird when you've just come from another bit of town and literally everyone is clad from top to toe in Gucci.
After the museum of everything, where Rick took the door off of one of the toilet cubicles by mistake, and I sat down on a prop bench made of papier mache, we ran away, and met Anna.
The best bit of the day was yet to come - we went up to the bar on the 91st floor of the financial tower - the 3rd tallest building in the world and one of Shanghai's biggest treats - and had a decadent cocktail!
The building is nicknamed the bottle opener - as with the pearl tower - look it up online, then imagine it with billion buckets of glitter thrown all over it. It truly was amazing being that high up, I've never experienced anything like it. My ears popped several times in the lift up and the entire building was very futuristic. Rather than pay 100 kuai (per person) to go on to the observatory, we opted for the bar, where we were waited on like royalty and, I kid you not, the loos had heated toilet seats. Heated. Heated! As you walk into the loo the seat opens - as if it knows... This amazing sensor device seemed to me as though the toilet were speaking to me, saying 'come on, have a seat, do a lovely wee'... And so I did.
Nice toilets are very, very hard to find here, but this was in another league. Ooh, I do like a nice loo.
After this, we headed to the totally vegetarian restaurant, which fashions tofu, fungus and bean paste into plates of 'meat'. We had sweet and sour ribs, rockfish and chicken wings.
I found this a rather disturbing experience - and not an entirely tasty one to boot. However, it was most jolly, and, having never had tried these items in their 'real' forms, it did have a novelty. But we all agreed that the most delicious bit was the side order of Aubergines and Shechuatan Mashed potato! Mash...mmm...
God, I love potatoes. You can get baked sweet potatoes here, in their jackets, just being sold by men in front of little open fires for a few pence. I may start this venture up in Shoreditch.
Last night I ate pigs knuckle! That is - one made entirely of tofu and shaped into a giant hoof. The days all begin to merge into one as we hop over the city doing this and that.
Yesterday we went to the arts district. It reminded me a little of what I saw of the arts district in New Yoik - blocks of warehouses - all networked together, offering the usual commercial art expos with a few really good bits hidden among all of the Nathan Barley bits. It was rather immense and took some time, after all of the wandering and staring at conceptual Chinese art, we decided to grab a cab to the Bund and have some touristy fun in the Pearl Tower. Now, the pearl tower is nicknamed the disco balls - look it up on google images and then imagine the balls covered with glittery lights - this is what it is like at night. Except bright neon pink!
As with a lot of places in Shanghai (and China, I imagine) you have to go through tons of security and get frisked before you are allowed into any building. Even before you enter any tube station you have to put your bags through an x-ray machine. Its bit sinister sometimes, but mainly you don't notice. At the pearl tower though, we did notice, as you had to go through about 50 checks! In the basement there is an immense, labyrinthine museum dedicated to the history of shanghai - some cool bits and only 20 kuai (2 quid) which kept us entertained and out of the cold.
Now, the cold is something I will just mention, as you will never have experienced anything like it. It creeps into your bones. Imagine the coldest that the winter in the uk has been, except somehow, more bitter, sharper. It sucks ass. And its absolutely pitiful to see Shanghai in all of its finery, especially after their world Expo 2010, with all of the homeless people and slums that exist under the surface.
Today and yesterday we went to some neglected areas and saw much poverty. So weird when you've just come from another bit of town and literally everyone is clad from top to toe in Gucci.
After the museum of everything, where Rick took the door off of one of the toilet cubicles by mistake, and I sat down on a prop bench made of papier mache, we ran away, and met Anna.
The best bit of the day was yet to come - we went up to the bar on the 91st floor of the financial tower - the 3rd tallest building in the world and one of Shanghai's biggest treats - and had a decadent cocktail!
The building is nicknamed the bottle opener - as with the pearl tower - look it up online, then imagine it with billion buckets of glitter thrown all over it. It truly was amazing being that high up, I've never experienced anything like it. My ears popped several times in the lift up and the entire building was very futuristic. Rather than pay 100 kuai (per person) to go on to the observatory, we opted for the bar, where we were waited on like royalty and, I kid you not, the loos had heated toilet seats. Heated. Heated! As you walk into the loo the seat opens - as if it knows... This amazing sensor device seemed to me as though the toilet were speaking to me, saying 'come on, have a seat, do a lovely wee'... And so I did.
Nice toilets are very, very hard to find here, but this was in another league. Ooh, I do like a nice loo.
After this, we headed to the totally vegetarian restaurant, which fashions tofu, fungus and bean paste into plates of 'meat'. We had sweet and sour ribs, rockfish and chicken wings.
I found this a rather disturbing experience - and not an entirely tasty one to boot. However, it was most jolly, and, having never had tried these items in their 'real' forms, it did have a novelty. But we all agreed that the most delicious bit was the side order of Aubergines and Shechuatan Mashed potato! Mash...mmm...
God, I love potatoes. You can get baked sweet potatoes here, in their jackets, just being sold by men in front of little open fires for a few pence. I may start this venture up in Shoreditch.
Yesterday was began slowly, as I slept til 3 with the jet lag! Bah... Nik teaches on Sundays so the three of us headed off on the metro (3 yuan - 30p for a single!) And went to Shanghai's biggest camera market - a shopping mall on 4 stories, starting from the top down, with cameras from the 19th century to the latest gadgets and gizmos of today. I got some film - costing about a pound for 36 exposures (!!) Rick marvelled at the delightful old cameras, as did I. But the antiques were a little out of our range.
After this, we went to perhaps the best and biggest fabric market in the world. Time Out had a lot of articles about it, lots written or from the perspective of people who work in fashion in Paris and Milan who come to Shanghai to get their clothes custom made at this very market.
Imagine the biggest clothes shop/haberdashers/John Lewis fabric department and times it by 10 thousand. Then you'll be starting to understand the size and variety of stock on offer here. Before we ventured inside, we stocked up on some street food - hot dumping for 10p - about the size of a cricket ball. Mmm.
Once inside, we set about the task of finding some fabric that we each liked - in order to turn it into an item of some sort. The quality of fabric was amazing - raw silk, Thai silk and pure Chinese silk in abundance in all styles and patterns... It was heavenly. People from all over the world go there in order to purchase made to measure clothes in posh fabrics that one could never afford at home. Handmade leather jackets - made to measure - which fit like a glove are about 600 yuan (60) and made to measure suits for men are very popular too. They key is to barter. One man that I approached, as I really liked some of his fabric, wouldn't barter at all, pointing out that he would need even more fabric than usual for someone of my size... A lost sale there. He has a point, but still.
Anna had a dress with her that she wanted to be re made in a different fabric, as it was very old and tattered. She chose a nice dusky pink colour and managed to barter the man down to 350 yuan (35 quid) for the whole made to measure dress, complete with lining.
Even - to my astonishment - Rick decided to get a made to measure suit for Helen's wedding! We found a few different materials that he liked and shopped around. I bartered some really low offers and in the end Rick has gone for lovely blue colour with a kind of check, in a lightweight cashmere, all made to measure all for 500 yuan! We are so chuffed with that.
As for me... Well, it took me a very long time to find something that I wanted - there was just too much choice. Also, there were SO many fashionista tourists, mainly French, German and Italian getting fitted for things that it made it quite hard to get a good look at stuff. Yes, I know I was doing the same as them!
In the end I went for what I think was an amazing fabric, we'll have to wait and see what the man does with it, but he measured me and planned the dress together, so hopefully it will fit and be a gooden. I am excited!
After this we walked to the river - the Bund. We went to a bar at the top of a tall building and could see everything. after that, Nik met us and we did something very special - really made me wish that you were all there too. We went to a 5 star hotel called the Peace Hotel and went to their Jazz Bar, where the same Jazz band who started playing there in the 30s are still playing today. It was real art deco, 30s style glamour, and the music was fab. We could only afford one drink, but it was still cheap compared to London prices.
After that, we walked to the Oxford street area and headed for food. As it is the new year, the Chinese have a national holiday today, so last night things closed at around nine, making it difficult to find food... Eventually we went to a fantastic central asian place, sort of Chinese but sort of Kazakhstani/Usbeki too. Big hot breads were served instead of rice. I have mainly been eating boiled veg with chillies and garlic - broccoli, pak choi, aubergines etc. But had a really lovely thing here called 'three silks', which was strings of pepper, cucumber and carrot with glass noodles, chilli and garlic. Tres tasty. Ate too much tough and felt a bit sick after! Rick had something called 'detonation mutton' this was very spicy.
The Chinglish - english to chinese translations have been very funny - I am taking lots of pics.
Today, we went to a fantastic exhibition - mum and rose, I so wish you could have seen it! In fact, you All would have really liked it. It was an exhibition of Chinese propaganda, all saved and preserved buy this one man, throughout the 1940s to 1980s. It was breathtakingly good.
After that we saw another exhibition at the Spanish embassy of photographs, then walked down the busiest street in the area to get street food and chinese cakes. We have just had them with a big pot of tea, now we are preparing to go to one of Shanghai's many 'ladies nights' - these happen city-wide each night. In fact, there are cheap food and drink deals everywhere, every night and the city does seem to be abuzz with people crazy nights out.
You can get dvds here for 50p of new releases, so can you all let me know if you want something in particular? Can't guarantee it, but name a few and I will try to get them.
Right, I'm off for Sangria and Margharitas - free all night!
After this, we went to perhaps the best and biggest fabric market in the world. Time Out had a lot of articles about it, lots written or from the perspective of people who work in fashion in Paris and Milan who come to Shanghai to get their clothes custom made at this very market.
Imagine the biggest clothes shop/haberdashers/John Lewis fabric department and times it by 10 thousand. Then you'll be starting to understand the size and variety of stock on offer here. Before we ventured inside, we stocked up on some street food - hot dumping for 10p - about the size of a cricket ball. Mmm.
Once inside, we set about the task of finding some fabric that we each liked - in order to turn it into an item of some sort. The quality of fabric was amazing - raw silk, Thai silk and pure Chinese silk in abundance in all styles and patterns... It was heavenly. People from all over the world go there in order to purchase made to measure clothes in posh fabrics that one could never afford at home. Handmade leather jackets - made to measure - which fit like a glove are about 600 yuan (60) and made to measure suits for men are very popular too. They key is to barter. One man that I approached, as I really liked some of his fabric, wouldn't barter at all, pointing out that he would need even more fabric than usual for someone of my size... A lost sale there. He has a point, but still.
Anna had a dress with her that she wanted to be re made in a different fabric, as it was very old and tattered. She chose a nice dusky pink colour and managed to barter the man down to 350 yuan (35 quid) for the whole made to measure dress, complete with lining.
Even - to my astonishment - Rick decided to get a made to measure suit for Helen's wedding! We found a few different materials that he liked and shopped around. I bartered some really low offers and in the end Rick has gone for lovely blue colour with a kind of check, in a lightweight cashmere, all made to measure all for 500 yuan! We are so chuffed with that.
As for me... Well, it took me a very long time to find something that I wanted - there was just too much choice. Also, there were SO many fashionista tourists, mainly French, German and Italian getting fitted for things that it made it quite hard to get a good look at stuff. Yes, I know I was doing the same as them!
In the end I went for what I think was an amazing fabric, we'll have to wait and see what the man does with it, but he measured me and planned the dress together, so hopefully it will fit and be a gooden. I am excited!
After this we walked to the river - the Bund. We went to a bar at the top of a tall building and could see everything. after that, Nik met us and we did something very special - really made me wish that you were all there too. We went to a 5 star hotel called the Peace Hotel and went to their Jazz Bar, where the same Jazz band who started playing there in the 30s are still playing today. It was real art deco, 30s style glamour, and the music was fab. We could only afford one drink, but it was still cheap compared to London prices.
After that, we walked to the Oxford street area and headed for food. As it is the new year, the Chinese have a national holiday today, so last night things closed at around nine, making it difficult to find food... Eventually we went to a fantastic central asian place, sort of Chinese but sort of Kazakhstani/Usbeki too. Big hot breads were served instead of rice. I have mainly been eating boiled veg with chillies and garlic - broccoli, pak choi, aubergines etc. But had a really lovely thing here called 'three silks', which was strings of pepper, cucumber and carrot with glass noodles, chilli and garlic. Tres tasty. Ate too much tough and felt a bit sick after! Rick had something called 'detonation mutton' this was very spicy.
The Chinglish - english to chinese translations have been very funny - I am taking lots of pics.
Today, we went to a fantastic exhibition - mum and rose, I so wish you could have seen it! In fact, you All would have really liked it. It was an exhibition of Chinese propaganda, all saved and preserved buy this one man, throughout the 1940s to 1980s. It was breathtakingly good.
After that we saw another exhibition at the Spanish embassy of photographs, then walked down the busiest street in the area to get street food and chinese cakes. We have just had them with a big pot of tea, now we are preparing to go to one of Shanghai's many 'ladies nights' - these happen city-wide each night. In fact, there are cheap food and drink deals everywhere, every night and the city does seem to be abuzz with people crazy nights out.
You can get dvds here for 50p of new releases, so can you all let me know if you want something in particular? Can't guarantee it, but name a few and I will try to get them.
Right, I'm off for Sangria and Margharitas - free all night!
1 January 2011
After arriving in Shanghai, Nik and Anna took us out to eat. There is no tipping in China - at all. Therefore, the service is often awful. No one smiled, but we pointed to colourful pictures and ate a nice meal of spicy aubergines, green beans, scrambled egg and warm cucumbers with rice. They came with bottles of Tsingtao that were nearly a foot tall - and all for 400RMB (called kuai by the kids, kind of like quid!) Which is 4 pounds to you or I! So eating out is VERY cheap almost everywhere but the very swankiest places. If you are very concerned about the provenance of the food or its general treatment, then China probably won't be your kind of place. Absolutely nothing is wasted, nothing looks pretty, everything is chucked in and from what I've seen in one day - animals possibly don't have the best of lives before they meet their maker.
After eating we got a cab to the club where Nik had been booked to DJ - LUNE. Lots of clubs are on the top floor of tall buildings - the same is true of nice bars too. Lune was at the top of a building in the heart of the brightly illuminated French quarter, and was a smallish room, totally lined with cushions, crazy lights and big windows. There was waitress service - and you can still (of course) smoke in China. Nearly everyone does, it seems. Measures are done by eye and are very generous - so after two rums and no sleep I was up on the stage having a good old boogie with one very drunk Chinese friend of Anna's, whose boyfriend had to carry her home not long after midnight.
We saw in the new year whilst Nik played a classic - Anything Goes - sung in Mandarin by the actress in Indiana Jones at the start of the one where it is 1930s Shanghai. That is a very annoying actress - Kate something? But an excellent (if little bit racist) film. Rick and I did a lot of dancing and jumping around - we both made friends! Me, a girl from Beijing who goes out with someone who works in Annas office, and Rick with a bloke who found out he work on Films and now wants Rick to come into the animation class that he teaches in one of the Colleges to do a lecture! He was very profuse. His name is Gordon and he is originally from Stoke. I liked him.
Rick and I are both objects of some curiosity over here. Especially Rick, who is stopped frequently by people remarking on his height. A group of school girls giggled a lot and a whole family took particular delight in marvelling at him. Generally, people just stare. They have been looking lots at me too. Not sure that I can blend in well anywhere really, but loud clothes plus loud mouth and big blonde hair seem to stick out too.
So far we have done a lot of walking - last night and today we took a cab across town, the most expensive journey cost 160 kuai (yup - 1 pound 60p)! So what feels like a luxury at home is one of the very cheapest things to do.
Yesterday, I was standing next to a man on the metro who was eating watermelon seeds and spitting the pips onto the floor. A vivid picture, but no one batted an eyelid.
Today, we slept in. We were so tired, but wanted a leg stretch, so we walked all the way across town and saw some sights. The best sights of all, however, were to be had in the supermarket.
There is literally EVERYTHING here. And everything is cheap, too. Electronic goods of all description, posh face cream brands, makeup, all foods and drink... There is a lot to be had.
There are tanks and tanks of crabs, frogs, toads, squid, eel - ducks by the dozen, plucked and lying there in a heap. People just use nets and help themselves to the things in the tanks, and grab the rest of the bits by hand. Hygiene is not a massive priority here (seriously - you should see the toilet situation) but is also a bit like going into the Gap, in the sense that there are hundreds of employees just standing all the way along the aisle, so if you go to even look at anything or pick anything up you are given the hard sell. Makes me a bit scared, as all I can say is hello and thank you.
The best bit is that the shops constantly play music - very loudly - all the time. Today, it was mad children singing. On the tube I heard military music. That might of been the residual paranoia though.
There is a club in town called Obamao and a place called Mao's Kitchen who's slogan is 'I'm a Mmmmaoist' or 'I love Communism - it's tasty' or something like that. I will be taking as many pics as I can!
Anyway, tonight we got a dvd from street seller for 50p - it is the not yet released Black Swan with Natalie Portman. We watched that snuggled up on the sofa - after eating rice and veg all stirred together.
I hope you all had a brilliant New Years Eve.
After arriving in Shanghai, Nik and Anna took us out to eat. There is no tipping in China - at all. Therefore, the service is often awful. No one smiled, but we pointed to colourful pictures and ate a nice meal of spicy aubergines, green beans, scrambled egg and warm cucumbers with rice. They came with bottles of Tsingtao that were nearly a foot tall - and all for 400RMB (called kuai by the kids, kind of like quid!) Which is 4 pounds to you or I! So eating out is VERY cheap almost everywhere but the very swankiest places. If you are very concerned about the provenance of the food or its general treatment, then China probably won't be your kind of place. Absolutely nothing is wasted, nothing looks pretty, everything is chucked in and from what I've seen in one day - animals possibly don't have the best of lives before they meet their maker.
After eating we got a cab to the club where Nik had been booked to DJ - LUNE. Lots of clubs are on the top floor of tall buildings - the same is true of nice bars too. Lune was at the top of a building in the heart of the brightly illuminated French quarter, and was a smallish room, totally lined with cushions, crazy lights and big windows. There was waitress service - and you can still (of course) smoke in China. Nearly everyone does, it seems. Measures are done by eye and are very generous - so after two rums and no sleep I was up on the stage having a good old boogie with one very drunk Chinese friend of Anna's, whose boyfriend had to carry her home not long after midnight.
We saw in the new year whilst Nik played a classic - Anything Goes - sung in Mandarin by the actress in Indiana Jones at the start of the one where it is 1930s Shanghai. That is a very annoying actress - Kate something? But an excellent (if little bit racist) film. Rick and I did a lot of dancing and jumping around - we both made friends! Me, a girl from Beijing who goes out with someone who works in Annas office, and Rick with a bloke who found out he work on Films and now wants Rick to come into the animation class that he teaches in one of the Colleges to do a lecture! He was very profuse. His name is Gordon and he is originally from Stoke. I liked him.
Rick and I are both objects of some curiosity over here. Especially Rick, who is stopped frequently by people remarking on his height. A group of school girls giggled a lot and a whole family took particular delight in marvelling at him. Generally, people just stare. They have been looking lots at me too. Not sure that I can blend in well anywhere really, but loud clothes plus loud mouth and big blonde hair seem to stick out too.
So far we have done a lot of walking - last night and today we took a cab across town, the most expensive journey cost 160 kuai (yup - 1 pound 60p)! So what feels like a luxury at home is one of the very cheapest things to do.
Yesterday, I was standing next to a man on the metro who was eating watermelon seeds and spitting the pips onto the floor. A vivid picture, but no one batted an eyelid.
Today, we slept in. We were so tired, but wanted a leg stretch, so we walked all the way across town and saw some sights. The best sights of all, however, were to be had in the supermarket.
There is literally EVERYTHING here. And everything is cheap, too. Electronic goods of all description, posh face cream brands, makeup, all foods and drink... There is a lot to be had.
There are tanks and tanks of crabs, frogs, toads, squid, eel - ducks by the dozen, plucked and lying there in a heap. People just use nets and help themselves to the things in the tanks, and grab the rest of the bits by hand. Hygiene is not a massive priority here (seriously - you should see the toilet situation) but is also a bit like going into the Gap, in the sense that there are hundreds of employees just standing all the way along the aisle, so if you go to even look at anything or pick anything up you are given the hard sell. Makes me a bit scared, as all I can say is hello and thank you.
The best bit is that the shops constantly play music - very loudly - all the time. Today, it was mad children singing. On the tube I heard military music. That might of been the residual paranoia though.
There is a club in town called Obamao and a place called Mao's Kitchen who's slogan is 'I'm a Mmmmaoist' or 'I love Communism - it's tasty' or something like that. I will be taking as many pics as I can!
Anyway, tonight we got a dvd from street seller for 50p - it is the not yet released Black Swan with Natalie Portman. We watched that snuggled up on the sofa - after eating rice and veg all stirred together.
I hope you all had a brilliant New Years Eve.
Shanghai - the arrival
31 December 2010
Hello all! I very much hope that this message reaches you. I appear to have coverage here. Won't text or call will keep in touch via email - please keep in touch with me too - I don't have to go online - it is auto as part of my tariff as it is in the uk.
So.... After a very eventful morning, which involved travelling to Heathrow rather than Gatwick, we made it. With time to get a bite at Garfunkels! Ricks 'treat' to me as he had been in charge of all travel arrangements. My omlette arrived mere moments (about 12 seconds) after I ordered it, and suddenly I was transported back to the Little Chefs of my childhood...
The first leg of the flight was uneventful - I had the hindu vegan meal - which generally looked much safer than anything else, and tasted okay too. Qatar airways was actually really posh. As much booze, food and premiere films as you like, no limits. Rick got a taste for whisky and ginger and I stuck to a revolving mix of alcoholic, soft, hot and weird drinks - to make sure I got my lionshare.
However, we missed our landing time and ended up in a queue of 17 planes. The result was that as we were landing in Doha our connecting flight had already boarded! All I can say, is that I drew on all of the strength I had, and channelled my inner Dad. I ran. And ran and ran and ran some more. And we made it - only just, but at 1.30am Doha time (6.30am Shanghai and 10.30 London) we settled down to the next round of vegan meals (something with okra this time) endless drinks and films.
The second leg was through the 'night', which was simulated by cabin crew throughout the plane, even though the sun was shining brightly. It was an even posher plane - and the entertainment system had 30 series 5! Rick slept for a bit, and I had a bit of a manic time at around 3am london time (9am shanghai) where I watched the Lost Boys, the Aristocats, beauty and the beast and then listened to the complete Fleetwood Mac...I felt ropey - but very satisfied too.
I brushed my teeth with minature toothpaste and fold-out brush before landing and then we made our way to passport control.
Here, we entered a new level of fear. I presented my visa and all other docs and passport. They then proceeded to tell me that the photo in the passport was not me - and confiscated it! Taking my drivers licence and other photo id too. Several othert officials got involved - Rick tried to help - but they wouldn't let him come over. I eventually had my picture taken about 20 timesd by them and they took specical 'note' of me and my id. They let me go after I protested about 50 times that the photo was taken of me when I was 19 - I am 10 years older now. However, the passport still has more that 6 months on it, as required in China, and visa and all other docs were there too. I don't know if they just didn't like the look of me, or if it really is just the worst photo ever where I look like a featureless ghost, but I can't wait to get a new one.
Apparently, we are supposed to report to the local police station every 24 hours or something mental like that - but I think that's only if you don't have someone that you're staying with. Either way, it wasn't that welcoming a start.
Anyway, next installment tomorrow, I am already getting a bit paranoid about what I'm writing in a bloody email about a faceless security person! I think the paranoia must be contagious. Or maybe its just lack of sleep?
Either way, I have still had no sleep and Anna, Nik, rick and I are off for food then to the club Nik is djing at! Break on through to the other side!
Their flat is lovely and they have been very welcoming. China is freezing! Siberian winds don't you know. Though I think they say that about Cambridge too.
It is nearly new years here - and whilst I'm away from you - I am with you too, as always.
Hello all! I very much hope that this message reaches you. I appear to have coverage here. Won't text or call will keep in touch via email - please keep in touch with me too - I don't have to go online - it is auto as part of my tariff as it is in the uk.
So.... After a very eventful morning, which involved travelling to Heathrow rather than Gatwick, we made it. With time to get a bite at Garfunkels! Ricks 'treat' to me as he had been in charge of all travel arrangements. My omlette arrived mere moments (about 12 seconds) after I ordered it, and suddenly I was transported back to the Little Chefs of my childhood...
The first leg of the flight was uneventful - I had the hindu vegan meal - which generally looked much safer than anything else, and tasted okay too. Qatar airways was actually really posh. As much booze, food and premiere films as you like, no limits. Rick got a taste for whisky and ginger and I stuck to a revolving mix of alcoholic, soft, hot and weird drinks - to make sure I got my lionshare.
However, we missed our landing time and ended up in a queue of 17 planes. The result was that as we were landing in Doha our connecting flight had already boarded! All I can say, is that I drew on all of the strength I had, and channelled my inner Dad. I ran. And ran and ran and ran some more. And we made it - only just, but at 1.30am Doha time (6.30am Shanghai and 10.30 London) we settled down to the next round of vegan meals (something with okra this time) endless drinks and films.
The second leg was through the 'night', which was simulated by cabin crew throughout the plane, even though the sun was shining brightly. It was an even posher plane - and the entertainment system had 30 series 5! Rick slept for a bit, and I had a bit of a manic time at around 3am london time (9am shanghai) where I watched the Lost Boys, the Aristocats, beauty and the beast and then listened to the complete Fleetwood Mac...I felt ropey - but very satisfied too.
I brushed my teeth with minature toothpaste and fold-out brush before landing and then we made our way to passport control.
Here, we entered a new level of fear. I presented my visa and all other docs and passport. They then proceeded to tell me that the photo in the passport was not me - and confiscated it! Taking my drivers licence and other photo id too. Several othert officials got involved - Rick tried to help - but they wouldn't let him come over. I eventually had my picture taken about 20 timesd by them and they took specical 'note' of me and my id. They let me go after I protested about 50 times that the photo was taken of me when I was 19 - I am 10 years older now. However, the passport still has more that 6 months on it, as required in China, and visa and all other docs were there too. I don't know if they just didn't like the look of me, or if it really is just the worst photo ever where I look like a featureless ghost, but I can't wait to get a new one.
Apparently, we are supposed to report to the local police station every 24 hours or something mental like that - but I think that's only if you don't have someone that you're staying with. Either way, it wasn't that welcoming a start.
Anyway, next installment tomorrow, I am already getting a bit paranoid about what I'm writing in a bloody email about a faceless security person! I think the paranoia must be contagious. Or maybe its just lack of sleep?
Either way, I have still had no sleep and Anna, Nik, rick and I are off for food then to the club Nik is djing at! Break on through to the other side!
Their flat is lovely and they have been very welcoming. China is freezing! Siberian winds don't you know. Though I think they say that about Cambridge too.
It is nearly new years here - and whilst I'm away from you - I am with you too, as always.
Thursday, 13 May 2010
The Dawn of a new era...the ConDem nation
Well, what can I possibly say that will make a reasonable excuse for not blogging for so long? I think I can probably pass it off, firstly, as election fever, and secondly, as post-election malaise. I'm sure we all have it, so I'll try not to dwell.
In fact, for the first time in ages (one week or so)I feeling rather happy. Having just watched Question Time and witnessed the farcical sycophancy of Simon Hughes and Lord Heseltine rubbing each other on the back and the sight of Melanie Phillips (always unpleasant) about to spontaneously combust - there was a shining light at the reaching out to me and all good reds out there - Mhedi Hasan! Goodness me, what a man. Hasan for the leadership! He expressed so well h0w I, and I'm sure loads of other -people are feeling right now. But it could be worse of course. I could have voted Lib Dem and now be squirming around uncomfortably, mesmerised by this unholy union. I think I will enjoy being in opposition, as the only truly viable progressive option. Possibly the best thing to happen to Labour. Possibly. Definitely not the best thing for the nation though, but ho hum.
I will try to shut up about it now, as I have been going on about nothing else for 7 days flat. And I definitely haven't said anything original or insightful or even witty so far.
In other news I have read the God Delusion again and decided to (again) that it is a marvellous book - mind you the dust-cover review on the front of the book's jacket also states that this is Derren Brown's favourite book. So there's no accounting for taste. Actually, I think re-reading this has caused a slight crisis... but I managed to paper over it by watching loads of Attenborough. Now I am getting a nightly fix of Life on Earth and the slightly less angry evolutionary stylings of the lovely Richard. Much more relaxing than what I was doing before - reading actual bits of the bible and getting very scared.
The only other bit of major news is BUNNY BUNNY BUNNY! Yes, we are getting a bunny. A mini lop rabbit, brown with a white tummy. The flat-packed hutch arrived yesterday and I erected it myself! Although Rick did have to go over it again this evening just to make sure that it was structurally sound (it wasn't). So now I have all the hay in the world, a great hutch and the makings of a fabulous bunny kingdom. Bunny arrives on Sunday.
If you want to come round and stroke it please do. Apparently they like nose-fondling! Don't we all.
Well, off I go. More tomorrow!
C xxx
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
Dearest ducks,
What a day and night we've had...your loyal correspondent here writes to you with sad tidings a plenty - I was voted off after the 3rd challenge! Travesty! Oh justice! O! Woe, woe and thrice woe.
It all began after a particularly arduous 2nd service, where, if you'll remember the infamous 'salt-gate' episode occurred. Dear god the shame. But after drinking 2 value cans of own brand cola, some beef and onion hula hoops and contraband Haribo stolen from Sir Ben's stash in the library I found my second wind - literally - and rushed around the kitchen with the others madly prepping for episode 3...
Yes, that's right, the ITV cheapskates could only afford 4 days at Maunsel House, stately pile of the 7th Baronet of Somerset and all round good-time guy, cad and commoner-hater. Therefore the producers announced the twist that we would be filming through the night the 3rd episode of the 5-part challenge as a time-saving measure. Good job I'd had drink all of that sugary cola and those 3 cups of tea, where the 4 of us that remained had to share the same teabag. Catering here is not so great, as you might have gathered.
JBR came in possibly hungover this morning. Today he had value multipack salt and vinegar crisps and a Tesco’s ham sandwich. He looked fucking grateful too! Oh the glamour. If you do get the chance dear readers, please look old JBR up on Google images and appreciate the likeness he has to a leathery pissed lizard. I have been forced to study his face for the last few days at alarmingly close proximity and it really is uncanny.
Anyway, back to the sad tale of yours truly and my elimination, The bombshell of the 3rd challenge was dropped and we were told that we would have to cook hundreds of canapés for a cocktail party, the canapés were our own creations (one recipe only, 80 canapés each) I made my own sundried tomato bread and smashed broad beans with mozzarella. P was on foul form all day and had to be reprimanded for bullying of the other contestants (not me, I hasten to add) as he said in his own words; "If you'd told me that I'd be having a conversation with a fat, tattooed, skint girl last week I just wouldn't have believed it. I never socialise with people like you. But for some reason I think you're great!" Ah, fantastic, I had unwittingly won the old buggers heart just by being good old me. And I didn’t even want to. Was rather hilarious thinking to myself that it was funny that he liked me but I secretly hate him and so I briefly lost my inner monologue and did a snorty laugh in his face. I think he took it as a sign of affection. Foolish man!
The 4 of us remaining - A, P, R and myself whizzed around for the next few hours - each with a camera in our face. Sometimes I'd catch something that one of the others was saying and become entranced. Did I sound like as much of a twat as them?! Yes, I fear, is the answer to that. In an amazing fit of foresight I spent the entire session gabbing to anyone and everyone that asked, about how I thought my dish was the weakest and that I deserved to go and that I thought I'd go. I also did a lots of saying "I'm not at all competitive... it really wouldn’t bother me if I left... the other 3 are SOOOO amazing" etc.
After a short break drinking more hazardous beverages and spending a particularly satisfying 5 minutes dreaming up ways of elaborately trapping and killing P using only my wits and an assortment of potato peelers, a mandolin and very, very dense ladle, it was time for our canapés to get out to the 3 or 4 eager diners that had attended the 3am fake cocktail party.
Then came the moment of truth...I don't want to ruin the show for you, so all I'll say is that I might have shed a little tear or two and gushed on about what a great time I'd had and how the other 3 were the best...but that would surely risk spoiling the surprise of seeing one of your oldest and dearest friends make a twat of herself on telly, and I wouldn’t want to do that! So you will have to watch the whole ghastly charade for yourselves!! Or at least the 3 hours of top quality entertainment that features MOI. Three out of five ain't bad.
But just a word to the wise, if you do happen to see a weepy writer getting booted of a reality cookery contest and then swearing at her competitors and shouting into the camera "turn that fucking thing OFF!" then remember to have some sympathy for her, as chances are she just been hugged and kissed by JBR the lizard man himself. That's probably what set her off.
So, my friends, I will be in from tomorrow and very much at your disposal for chats/tea/drinks/me to cook you something nice, so please get in touch so that I can try to be normal again.
I do hope I didn’t let any of you fine folk down; I did have a great experience you know. And its even re-ignited my blogging fever so I will let you know the address of my new blog set up if you fancy a read a long a day.
With much love to you all, ties I signing off to finally sleep.
Chloe xxx
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